Sunday, July 01, 2012

The 30th

Where has the time gone? 
I should have a one year old little girl, what would my life be like?
The only answer to that is I know what I am doing and although heartbreaking I love the 
FlutterBy IzzyJane Foundation

 I have never felt numb during this whole process of grieving except for this week. 
one year are the two words that replayed in my mind 24/7...
one year!!one year?? one year..
I planned, prepared, planned more and kept busy. 
And it paid off because our Give a Quack fundraiser was a unbelievable! 
WOW is all I have to say, we are truly lucky to have such amazing people in our lives who come and support my little broken family! 
Thursday was probably the hardest day for me this week. 
Thursday was the day that I gave birth
Thursday was the day I said hello and she said goodbye
Thursday is the day my heart has never stopped breaking
and this Thursday was not even better. 
BUT on friday the live Butterflies came in this small box.... I was so nervous that these little symbolic creatures would not fly when we released them or even worse what if they were dead?!?! 
Wouldn't that have been a slap in the face.haha
Then my sister Katie came into town just for me! It was so nice to have her come and help out with something that was so bitterweet. We had a blast as sisters, even though i put them to work and was so emotional we still had a great time together, we shopped, ate, ate more and then the big day....

So many wonderful people came and helped me out. It always amazes me how people show their love and support. I'll forever be greatful for them in my life. Then we had an amazing band that played, while little kids got their face painted, people purchased and decorated their ducks, and then had popcorn, snowcones, izze juice and much more to munch on before the duck release! 

I gave a little speech, and did really good not to cry my eyeballs out

This is it. 

Just like butterflies we too wish IzzyJane could have stayed, but we are blessed to have seen her and to have her create such a beautiful foundation. We hope as this foundation grows, families who lose a baby will fill supported and not alone, as they have their beaclets to bond them together forever. 

We want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for lifting us out of our darkest days and supporting us in this foundation. It is because of your unconditional love, support and hope for a bright future that our foundation has grown this far. 

IzzyJane is our beautiful butterfly who has taught us about the meaning of butterflies. We too our like butterflies, on a long journey. We encounter endless change good/bad which morphs us into our even finer souls...A NEW LIFE...with more lightness understanding and beauty. 
Let us release the butterflies and celebrate our IzzyJane

 The Butterflies came in these little enevolpes and most of them flew, but stayed around us. Danny's didn't want to leave him. Our friends said that is Baby Cruz, he's staying on earth forever!

The 30th is a day I will never forget.....

I love you IzzyJane


Renel said...

Oh Molly~ It looks like it was a lovely day. I am so glad so many people came to support you and remember izzyjane. The foundation is a such a beautiful way to remember your precious first born daughter.
I thought of you yesterday...of course..
Thursday was also extremely difficult for me.
1 year....
1 year....
how could it be that we have continued to breathe for an entire year without our daughters.
The love does not die.
I think it is so fun that you had a butterfly decide to stay.

Ashley Richards said...

Hey Molls,

What a touching day yesterday was. I just loved that Danny's butterfly would not leave him - it made me cry. Good thing I had sunglasses huh? I just thought the whole thing was lovely. What a great way to honor and celebrate little IzzyJane. I'm sure she watched the whole thing with her little brother, and was close to you two.

As I left yesterday, I stopped by my Grandma and Grandpa Murdock's grave and just cried and cried.
I told them of little IzzyJane, and the loss you have experienced with her. And then I think I cried for loss in general. This life is full of heartbreaking losses, and yet, we have to keep living and go on. But then with that loss, we turn a corner and there is such unbelievable joy.
My heart is warmed by those that experience such terrible loss, and then pick themselves up and keep going. That is what you and Danny have done - one baby step at a time. It helps me to keep going when I feel those losses from the past as well creep in. Thank you!

I love you guys! Ash

Lauren said...

Oh Molly! I am so glad you had such a great turn out... I feel like the most horrible friend in the world... I was planning on coming and it just didn't work out. Your amazing and I just love you so much and think of you all the time! I wish I lived closer (not that i'm too far away) but I don't leave northern Utah that often. lol Much love your way =-)