Saturday, February 02, 2013



I know IzzyJane was the hardest thing that I have ever gone through but in some ways I didn't know why. I figured alot of people didn't know why either and as time went on, I think alot of people thought that I was getting over it or even appeared to be happy...
I now understand...
It's the simple JOY LOVE AND THE RENEWED life of an innocent baby!
It's their breaths
It's their smell
It's the time that you give
It's the quite nights nursing
It's the sucking noises
It's the first smiles and noises
It's the self sacrife of everything you can give and more
Every moment is devoted to him, my love, my joy, my Cruz!

My heart honestly hurts with so much love I have for him, he is my light, love, he is my son!
It hurts for the loss of our beautiful IzzyJane, all these moments we have with him are simply amazing and we truly got robbed of them with her!
That's why it hurts so bad!
Those months without her where long, dark, ugly and I'm so glad that they are now filled with Cruz!
He didn't replace her but he sure did bring us pure JOY!
I am in love with every noise, every smell he makes, and faces he pulls!
He is the sweetest baby, always happy, even tempered and so lovable!

I have joy back in my life and it feels so good!


Renel said...

I was thinking of you yesterday... You two are beautiful. So thankful for the joy. I wish it fixed things. Broken things... But it doesn't. It does bring joy and that's something to be thankful for. Yay for rainbow babies! I'm in love with the breath, the smells the noises, the coos, smiles and kicks...I'm in love with the pure aliveness.

Dan and Liz said...

I am so, so happy for you guys. I had a good cry today (first big one in a couple weeks)about Naomi...Your posts reassure me it does get easier and better. Time is healing, this I know :) He is the cutest boy!

Radiant Red said...

Beautifully said!

Dani Zarbock said...

I do not know how I came across your blog, but I'm glad I did:) I am too an Angel mommy to my sweet Reese born sleeping this past July. She is one of my amazing triplets. I was fortunate enough to recieve forever bracelets from both the hospital and my friends. Thank you for those. I am now giving back as I loved all the things I received and making Reese Angelz necklaces for the mommies. Your rainbow baby is gorgeous and I'm so happy for you! I am excited to look through your older posts as I'm sure you have some of the same feelings I have.
xo Dani